Here we are. I’ve reached that point. Y’know, the inevitable life update, ranting on about what’s been going on in my life. I feel like this might be a long post so get the kettle on and find yourself a comfortable seat.
I burned out. Much like a comet of excitement, joy and motivation. I can’t really explain what happened? Maybe I worked too hard too fast. Maybe I started my goals off all at once and got overwhelmed. Who really knows?
Since about the third week of January – I have been struggling. Not in any serious kind of way but even still. I started off 2019 with the intentions of making it “my year”. I got caught up in assignments, blog posts and just life in general. Like, I wouldn’t mind but I don’t really have a huge amount going on. If I was going to use an analogy I’d say I’ve been “the chair”. You know what I’m on about. It starts off with one t-shirt that you couldn’t be bothered to fold away and now it’s a mountainous beast that looks like it can never be defeated. I am the chair, the clothes are the tasks, projects and goals that should be completed, or at least started.
Now I feel a little bit like I’m drowning. Trouble is, the buoy to keep me afloat is right next to me, I just can’t be arsed to pick it up. And that is my problem. I cannot be arsed.
You might be asking yourself, Katie…what are you getting at? Well, I’m so glad you asked.
I need a fresh start. I need to treat today as if it’s the 31st of December. What I really need is Marty McFly and his DeLorean but I’ll have to do with what I have at hand.
I’m angry with myself because I know that I am better than who I’m being right now. Because I know that if I’d have tried a little harder that my deadlines would not be swallowing me up like the Kraken. But I’m also angry with myself because I know what I need to do.
All this pissing around is going to stop. For two reasons:
Reason number one: I want it to.
Reason number two: I need it to.
The version of myself that I am right now is not the best version of me. And I cannot spout on my blog about other people being the best selves if I can’t muster up the effort to do that for myself. It seems yucky and unauthentic which is not what I want my blog to be.
So this blog post acts as a confessional of sorts. But also as a promise. It’s a promise to start looking after myself again. A promise to start getting my tasks done on time. A promise to get my arse off Sims 4 and focus on making my own life better.
Thank you so much for reading. It means the world when I see that even one person has viewed a post. Have a lovely day and stay beautiful.
“Be willing to be a beginner every single morning” – Meister Eckhart.
Lots of loves,