what not to ask people in long distance relationships

long distance relationships

Being in a long distance relationship can be a little difficult with the time apart, distance and living apart etc. However, one of the most difficult things can be the perception of my relationship from other people and the questions that can come with this. This post is not one hundred per cent serious, there is some jest to it so please don’t get offended. If I’m completely honest, sometimes it’s less what people say and more how they say it. It can be kind of condescending to have to feel like you have to justify your relationship to people. So here it is, the things that people in long distance relationships are sick of hearing with a sprinkle of sarcasm and bad jokes.

“I don’t know how you can trust each other”

This is the thing I hate people saying the most. Mainly because it insinuates that people who live either close together or with one another never cheat on each other – and we all know that isn’t true. It doesn’t matter if you live at the same address or across the world from one another. Trust is not based on proximity. I always like to add to my answer that long distance relationships can be expensive, hard and time-consuming so it would be stupid to cheat with someone closer and still go and see your partner who lives 100+ miles away, you’d be a bit of a mug to do that.

“How do you know they’re not cheating on you?”

Are you with your partner 24/7? No? So how do YOU know that when you’re not together that they’re not cheating on you. It works the same bloody way in every relationship regardless of distance. This kind of links on to my point above but I will reiterate distance does not mean there’s no trust. I find that people who ask me this are projecting their anxieties onto me which I completely get because long distance isn’t for everyone but it’s quite a rude thing to ask in my opinion.

“Is there any point in a relationship like that?”

Trust me, I didn’t go out trying to find someone who lived across the country from me. I’m not sure anyone in an LDR really does. But when you fall for someone, distance becomes irrelevant. I completely see a point in my relationship and it can be very impolite to put down someone’s relationship like that. No one should have to justify their relationships to anyone.

“I don’t think I could do that”

This one is a little less annoying but it still makes my eyes roll a bit. No one in a long distance relationship is asking you to love someone who lives miles away. We’re not recommending it to anyone because it can be hard. LDRs are not for everyone, they’re just not. I know that we’ve all seen Catfish so we’re a little wary of how it can end up but they don’t all go down that route, trust me. Not everyone is made for long distance relationships.

“But is it really a relationship?”

I got this one A LOT when Liam and I first got together while I was in school. People were always telling it wasn’t a real relationship which is funny considering their relationships are now broken up while mine is stronger than ever. A little petty? Yes but sometimes you have to revel in these things. Please don’t tell me that my relationship isn’t valid, you have no idea what goes on between two people and you have no idea of the feelings two people have for each other. In this modern age of communication, it’s strange that people still aren’t used to long distance being a real thing.

Please do take this post with a pinch of jest, I’m not completely serious. I understand that not everyone knows the ins and outs of LDRs and they can be curious. However, as with anything, please be respectful when you talk to people about their personal life.

♡ Do you have a (nice) question for someone in a long distance relationship? I’d be happy to answer!

“Distance is just a test for how far love can travel” – Unknown.

Until next time,

Sign Off


(4) Comments

  1. I think I would be sick of hearing this all the time as well! So glad you are in a loving relationship xx

    1. Katie Yvonne says:

      It can get a little much sometimes ahah! Thank you for your kind words and thank you for reading Paula. Have a lovely x x

  2. I completely understand this, despite only being 18! I met my bf at 14, starting dating at 16, and this year we are both off to university, living 5 hours away from each other. Everyone is saying we aren’t a real couple, and won’t be able to survive the distance and we are being nieve wanting to be with each other still. But we know we love each other, so we will fight the distance!

    1. Katie Yvonne says:

      Aw no! I’m sorry to hear that people are saying that about your relationship. It’s super hard feeling like you need to justify being together. Honestly, it’s not naive, you love each other and you don’t want the distance to ruin that which is something I can really relate to. I wish both you and your boyfriend the best of luck with university. I’m sure you’ll be able to deal with the distance for this time. You seem strong and determined so I have no doubts.

      Thank you for reading and all the best x x

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