When I tell people that I’m in a long-distance relationship, I’m often met with a look of complete bewilderment, especially if that person is a little bit older. Long-distance relationships seem a little strange if you’ve never been in one. I often get about a million questions, some of which I don’t appreciate such as, “What’s the point in that?”. Then, when I tell them that I’m really happy in my relationship they look puzzled again. I used to get really annoyed by people being a little bit off-ish about it but it’s just because they can’t really understand how they work as they’ve not experienced it.
I think that the cons of long-distance are blatantly obvious. Not being able to see each other regularly. Paying for travel and accommodation. Missing them when you’re not with them. But, I truly believe there are some positives to a relationship with a little bit of distance, as mad as that might sound.
You have to learn to spend time apart
When you love someone, you want to spend as much time with them as you possibly can but when there are hundreds of miles between you, it’s not really doable. While it breaks my heart that I don’t (yet) get to wake up to Liam every day, not seeing each other all the time has taught us to spend time apart. Time apart is required in a relationship. Spending too much time with one person, even if you love them loads, can send anyone a little batty. People in long-distance relationships have to quickly learn how to spend time without their partner or you’d be sobbing into a Domino’s while watching chick flicks like I did the first few times Liam went home.
It pretty much rules out any games
I won’t say that 100% of long-distance relationships are cheating-free because that would probably be wrong. But I can guarantee that most people in serious long-distance relationships will be faithful. When you have to spend £100+ a time to see someone, travel hours to see them and wait months between visits then you must have feelings for someone. Long-distance requires a lot of trust. Most relationships fall apart without trust but long-distance ones especially.
You get more time to know one another
This was true, at least for me. From when Liam and I got together to when we first ever met was six months apart. We had half a year to get to know each other inside out which was actually really nice because when we first properly met, it just felt like he was someone that I knew but hadn’t seen in ages. We just used to spend hours getting to know each other and that part of our relationship will always be really special to me.
When you’re together, your time is 100x more precious
I probably see Liam for about a week every few months so when I do finally get to see him, that time is golden to me. Sometimes we’ll have a visit where we don’t really do much but stay in and watch films or just chat. Other times, we like to do a lot of sightseeing and travelling. You make little traditions for when you see each other. Mine and Liam’s is having a Domino’s the first night we’re together. My favourite way to spend time in the world is with Liam.
You learn how to communicate properly with one another
I can’t just slam a door and throw a silent strop over messages so when we have something to talk about we just act like adults and chat about the problem. Honestly, it’s very rare that me and Liam ever need to have ‘chats’ because we are just happy with each other. But if there ever is anything bothering one of us, we’re very good and airing it out and solving the problem. I don’t believe in having one little tiff over something stupid. And throwing a relationship away so being able to communicate is super important. Most people aren’t psychic so if something is bothering you, just talk about it calmly.
It’s a lot more than a physical thing
You do have relationships 100% based on the physical side of things, you know what I mean *wink wink*, but if that’s what you want then I’m afraid long-distance ain’t for you. If I had to put it into percentages then I would say that in a long-distance relationship about 90% non-physical and 10% physical. It pretty much rules out the possibility that someone is with you for that one thing.
You learn how to overcome hurdles together
Long-distance is bloody hard work. It’s definitely a huge hurdle in a relationship. Not being able to see the person you love every day is so hard. I probably spend a good four hours a day thinking about when I get to live with Liam and we no longer have to say “goodbye” only “goodnight” (super cheesy I know). But this is positive because, after this, you know that you can put your heads together. You work through any hurdles in your relationship. I always say to Liam that this part of our relationship is our ‘hard part’, does that mean the rest will be perfect? No, but it does mean that we’ll have dealt with something huge and when another hard part might come along we will know we’ve gotten through things before.
A lot of the pettiness from ‘normal’ relationships is rare
Are we petty sometimes? YES. But there’s none of this arguing daily or telling the other they can’t go out or checking each other’s phones. We don’t have time for that. I speak for both myself and Liam when I say that we way both put in way too much effort to see each other when we can to ruin it being petty whenever we’re together. I’m not sure if this comes from us being a Scorpio-Virgo couple but we’re just pretty chilled out. We’re not a very fiery or confrontational couple at all so this positive might come from that too.
There you have it, a few of my positives to being in a long-distance relationship. There are loads more but I thought this eas long enough haha. Shoutout to my lovely boyfriend, Liam because he gave me some of the ideas for this post!
“The art of love is largely the art of persistence” – Albert Ellis.
Until next time,